Wishes
by littlefirebird
Summary: Natsuki contemplates her position in life.  Done for the Tea Party for MUses prompt at Mai Universe.


Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

Many thanks to **LittleDemonInside **and** Ultima-Matrixed** for beta-ing!

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Wishes…were stupid things.

"_**Look, Natsuki!" **_

_**Two pairs of identical eyes gazed up at the lone star blinking faintly above the last remaining glow of dusk. **_

"_**Want to make a wish?" Saeko smiled gently, chuckling at a young Natsuki's fervent head-nodding in response.**_

There was nothing to be gained from them.

"_**Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight."**_

They were a waste of time.

"_**I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight."**_

Glorious wastes of time.

"_**Mama! Mama! Wanna know what I wished for?" An eager grin spread across the little girl's face, her bright eyes shimmering in excitement.**_

"_**I'd love to know, but if you tell me, the star won't grant it." Saeko let out another little chuckle at the look on her child's face. "It's supposed to be a secret, dearest heart."**_

"_**Awwww…" Natsuki's pout turned indignant as her mother tugged on one of her pigtails affectionately.**_

"_**Come inside now. Mama has work she needs to do, and I'm sure Duran's been waiting patiently for you." The gentle smile never left her face.**_

_**Natsuki smiled back. "'Kay, Mama."**_

The wish she'd made back then was never granted.

Hell, Natsuki didn't even know why that particular memory was floating through her mind as she paced about the room. It was just her at the apartment for the time being. No noise, no clamor other than the sounds of her incessant movements.

_No teasing, no clinking of china as a certain Kyoto-born woman drank her tea…_

Maybe it was that one, lonesome star that shimmered invitingly towards her from the wide view her apartment window offered.

"…Tch." Viridian eyes glared suspiciously at the star once Natsuki paused in her restless movements. "I know what you're trying to do," she muttered, "and it won't work. I gave all that make-believe, fairy tale stuff up after _that_ happened."

She unceremoniously flopped down onto the couch, shifting one of the softer cushions under her head for a better resting spot and subsequently cursed the silence that reigned. It gave her time to think about things she would rather not dredge back up after so many years. She simply did. Not. Want. To. Think.

Period.

_**Her mother frequently voiced her disapproval whenever Natsuki wanted to ride on Duran's back. He certainly was big and strong enough to carry her, wasn't he? No matter, Mama was busy with work in the other room.**_

"_**Duran, up!" The command was given, of course, after she had securely gripped the leather band that served as his collar. Natsuki steadied herself as Duran complied, shifting and balancing so she didn't fall off. Once prepared, the toddler stared purposefully ahead of her.**_

_**There stood the enemy – unruly beasts and their masters, all lined up in front of a grand castle.**_

…_**Okay, so they were really stuffed animals and the castle wasn't much more than a playhouse, but this was **_**her**_** story! She was the heroine and those monsters needed to be dealt with!**_

_**A chubby finger pointed dramatically at a star through the window—more specifically, the red-tainted one that had suddenly appeared next to the moon one day. "In the name of the Red Star, I've come to reclaim my princess!" She declared heroically –albeit quietly, since Mama was still hard at work— and redirected her finger so it pointed at the nearest animal. "And **_**you**_**, Mr. Tiger, will be the first to go. Duran, charge!"**_

_**The dog, however, remained in the same place, panting and wagging his tail happily despite his young charge's command. She tried again.**_

"_**Duran, go!"**_

_**Alas, his attention was elsewhere, his floppy ears perked up at the sound of running feet in the hallway. Natsuki barely had time to dismount from Duran's back before her mother burst into the room, looking very frantic.**_

"_**Natsuki, we need to leave. Now."**_

"_**Huh? But wh—" **_

"_**Please…**_**please**_** don't ask Mama any questions right now. We need to leave."**_

"_**What abou—"**_

"_**Bring him. Just hurry."**_

"Stop it," Natsuki rested a forearm over her eyes. "That was almost 20 years ago and the Carnival's over. There's no need to dwell on it any longer, you idiot." Obviously easier said than done, given the constant little reminders lying around here and there.

She let her other arm slip off the edge of the couch. Oop, there was one such reminder that always managed to show up in the strangest of places—the only remnant of Duran the dog that survived the carnage. Natsuki idly noted that his fabric was as rough as it had ever been as she set it on her stomach. She'd kept the small toy dog from when she, Mai, and Mikoto had investigated the abandoned research center as motivation.

_Here's what you're fighting for: Your lost childhood, your murdered mother. Remember._

"I remembered, Mom, but the fighting seems like it happened so long ago…"

Now what? The fight was over and her motivation for revenge was long gone, especially now that she had Shizuru to ground her. Should she still keep it for sentimental value? Should she keep it on the off chance her partner would agree to getting a pet of their own?

Should she sell it on eBay?

"Too many questions…" she growled under her breath, peering at the stuffed toy from underneath her arm, "and absolutely no answers." Natsuki stiffened slightly, pausing her fidgeting at the sound of a passing car. A sharp breath was released once the noise of the engine drew closer, stalled momentarily, and then stopped—Shizuru was home, safe and sound.

Natsuki wouldn't willingly admit it, but she worried when Shizuru was out driving. It was an unfounded fear of hers. She knew the brunette was a responsible driver, but she still couldn't help feeling nervous every time her partner was late in coming home. Why? As if the heavens were forever set on reminding her of that night, Shizuru's choice of car just happened to match up almost exactly with what her mother had driven.

"-ki?"

And once again, she was over-thinking things to the point of—

"Natsuki? I'm home."

...completely missing the moment her partner walked through the door.

_She really did think too much._

"Hey." She raised a hand in greeting, smiling softly when she heard Shizuru quietly pad over to where she rested on the couch. A warm hand gently clasped her own and she glanced up, the small smile still on her face.

"I didn't make Natsuki wait too long, did I?"

"Not at all." The raven-haired woman chuckled before gently tugging the brunette closer. She sat up, meeting her girlfriend halfway and hugged her. The faintest of glimmers caught her eye and she glanced at the wishing star that had seemingly beckoned to her earlier. It was no longer alone—a host of other stars had joined it in the darkness before she'd noticed.

Just like she suddenly found herself after the Carnival.

"Natsuki?"

She let out a quiet chuckle at the thought, nuzzling her girlfriend in the process and hugging her a bit closer.

"It's nothing. Welcome home."

_She didn't want wishes, nor did she want a fairy tale ending._

_She had everything she ever needed and wanted right in her own two arms._

_And she was happy._

_

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_A/N: This one-shot was done in response to the current Tea Party for MUses prompt at Mai Universe. If anyone's interested, the link to the forum is on my profile. =)

Let me know if you enjoyed it and I hope to see some new faces at MU soon! x)


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